Xenuphobia


Your daily entheta for 3/11/08
March 11, 2008, 2:12 pm
Filed under: Anonymous, Celebrity, Press, Scientology Critics | Tags: , , , , , ,

Only Anonymous could help give the Village Voice its journalistic balls back following its recent takeover, during which the paper “purifed” itself of its best writers like so much purple goo. Tony Ortega, author of the article that has the nipples of Xenuphobia so hard they could cut glass, is certainly worthy of the title SP of the Week–and it’s only Tuesday! The article, titled “What to get L. Ron Hubbard for his birthday,” refers to Scientology as a “ruthless global scam,” a “nuisance,” “nefarious,” “more like the mafia than a religion,” and “horny” (alright, we’re kidding about that last one. Still, Ortega’s article has us horny as all get-out).

To his credit, Ortega is no Ronny-come-lately when it comes to providing–gasp–actual news coverage of the cult. No, he’s never pussyfooted around the issue. And that says a lot, considering Ortega has been covering in the news since at least 1999 and still hasn’t ended up dead at the Fort Harrison–or in one of Hubbard’s 600 volcanoes. His current article is more delicious than even the most delicious of birthday caek. But don’t take our word for it; see for yourself. And you know? It’s about effing time.

In other $cn news, cult Grand Poobah DM has been a’courting yet another celebrity couple to the “church” to help repair its public image. While the term “beyond repair” is apparently quite the misunderstood for Miscaviage, no one can fault (flunk?) him for giving up too easily. No, the current couple isn’t Will & Jada or even Forest Whittaker and his wife–it’s Beckham. Srsly. Oh, and his Spice Girl co-thetan, Posh. Dave, can you say EPIC FAIL?

And, finally, the clam cult has finally made it to the big stage in the final “meta-play” of “The Scariest.”